May 23rd, 2023
 

Only four people showed up today. A week ago, this was a “popular” project, with multiple sign-ups and interest. But now? No-shows, with no explanation and no clear reason.             

The participants who did attend filled out the confidentiality and consent forms immediately, before we had even spoken about them. This seemed like a strange moment – almost as if this was just another bureaucratic exercise rather than an invitation to engage in something meaningful. Perhaps they were sceptical about this project from the get-go. 
 

This small detail set the tone for the day: this was not the type of engagement I had envisioned. One participant changed their mind about being filmed, despite having read the participant information sheet which mentioned that the workshop would be filmed but kept anonymous. The energy felt quite guarded. When explaining both exercises further, the idea that this would be an unaccompanied exercise made the participants quite surprised – they had expected a guide to accompany them on the walking route. Where did this expectation come from? Did I miscommunicate this in my conversations with community organisation X? Or was it simply an ingrained assumption that the engagement at the organisation is always facilitated?? I could not help but feel frustrated by this – by the idea that participation depended on a structured, assisted experience. I had envisioned something self-led, organic and independent. 

After the first workshop was done, I left the remaining clipboards with participation sheets at Community Organisation X, hoping they might be used by others the rest of the week. But I left feeling uncertain. What now? If only four people return next week, should I shorten the session? If more come, do I keep the original structure, even though not everyone might have done the exercises? This raises bigger questions: Should I adjust my approach? Should I reach out to another organisation?

 

One of the community leaders, visibly frustrated, assured me that she’d help recruit more participants and that she would email me. Let see what happens next week.